- Morning Bites
- Posts
- What's important to you❓
Grant & Sherman
To know what you like is the beginning of wisdom and of old age.
Just after the US Civil War had reached it’s end, Ulysses S. Grant and his friend William Tecumseh Sherman, where among the most respected and important men in all America.
Both being architects of the Union’s recent victory and having an entire country in debted to them. They were told:
“Whatever you like, as long as you live, is yours.“
Having this new-found freedom, Sherman and Grant took entirely different paths.
Sherman, who had previously stated to have “all the ranks he needed”, as well as abhorring politics, chose to move to New York City where, by all appereances, lived in happiness and contentment.
Grant though, chose a different path. He aimed to pursue the highest office available: The Presidency.
This came as a surprise since Grant had previously stated to have no interest in politics. So much so, that part of his success as a general was due to his lack of interest in a political career.
So, why the sudden change of mind?
As stated by his close friend, William Tecumseh Sherman:
“Grant had accomplished so much, but to him, it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t decide what was important - what actually mattered - to him.”
Grant’s downfall
We think “yes” will let us accomplish more, when in reality it prevents exactly what we seek.
After being elected by a landslide, Grant continued to preside over what became among the most corrupt, contentious, and least effective adminsitrations of American history.
Although Grant was a genuinely good and loyal individual, he was not cut out for the dirty world of politics. As soon as he stepped into the oval office, Washington had already swallowed him and spitted him out, leaving a maligned and controversial figure after two exhauasting terms.
Broken in mind and body, Grant fought through his last years on earth, racing to finish a memoir so that he might leave his family with something to live on, which he barely accomplished…
Having surrounded himself with success after success, Grant traveled down a path of accomplishment, unbeknownst to him of the dangers it would bring.
Sherman, unlike Grant, had found happiness and comfort in his achievements which allowed him to live a happy life surroudned by those he loved.
Grant, on the other side, unable to find comfort, sought to feel the void with the highest accomplishment of all, only to fail colosally and destroy his own reputation in the process.
We´re never happy with what we have, we want what others have too…We start out knowing what is important to us, but once we’ve achieved it, we lose sight of our priorities.
Grant was unable to say no because he felt he might miss something if he did. And having that unlimited freedom, thanks to a grateful country, he sought to feed his ego with the ultimate political position, without knowing it was this choice that would ultimately steer him away from a life of joy and fulfillment which he craved so deeply.
The Gift of the Magi
Far too often, we look at other people and make their approval the standard we feel compelled to meet, and as a result, squander our very potential and purpose.
It was William Sidney Porter, or better knwon as O. Henry, who wrote the “Gift of the Magi”. A tale of selfless love, sacrifice, and the true spirit of giving.
It’s a tale about a young married couple who are deeply in love but financially poor. As the holidays came closer on the calendar, both sought out for a special gift for their significant other.
Della, madly in love with his husband Jim, sold her beautiful long hair in order to buy a platinum fob chain for Jim’s pocket watch.
Meanwhile, Jim sold his prized pocket watch, to buy a set of classy combs for Della’s beautiful hair.
When they finally exchanged gifts, both were taken by surprise of irony and futility of their sacrifice, yet they came to undertand that the love they had for each other was the most valuable gift of them all.
Looking back at Grant’s story, it’s easy to see there’s a certain “Gift of the Magi” irony in how we often seek what will not be truly pleasurable.
The same happens with our own lives and goals.
We must learn that it is within our ability and rather our duty to evaluate and set our own terms for our lives.
Far too often, we look at other people and make their approval the standard we feel compelled to meet, and as a result, squander our very potential and purpose.
It was Seneca who highlighted the importance of finding a Euthymia in our lives.
Euthymia: it is the sense of our own path and how we stay on it without getting distracted by all the others that intersect it.
It is no coincidence that the literal meaning of Euthymia in English is tranquility.
Having the ability to say no to things allows us the inmense power of dedicating our finite time to the things we value the most.
As the old adage goes:
“The more you try to hold sand with your hands, the more it slips through your fingers”
If you wish to truly succeed, then you must find first what you truly value.
Because strategies are often exclusive, and we must understand what our choices preclude.
And remember, in the end, it’s all about ego.
Because ego hates trade-offs.
Why compromise? Ego wants it all!
Though there’s a price to pay.
Having an unquenchable desire for success will eventually lead you down a path of failure and disappointment.
Because our time is finite, and so ir our energy.
All of us waste precious life doings things we don’t like, to prove ourselves to people we don’t respect, and to get things we don’t want.